Posts
I have been pondering my current place, my past, my goals and plans on my future. I have thought about the events that I have experienced, the things I have gone through, but most importantly the things I have overcome. I feel that there were a couple of times I could’ve handled things much different and better but, my reactions, mistakes, and regrets have made me and shaped me. I’m using all the good from the bad I have seen, all the optimism that hid through my pessimistic times to learn from yesterday, live through today, and reflect on to tomorrow. I want to rid myself of all that negativity and doubt that has filled me. I want to live up to the image that I have of myself: blissful, optimistic, compassionate, kindhearted, and all other good this world has to offer; I want to display it. I don’t feel that I have lived up to that, I’ve slacked, I have done things I certainly shouldn’t have. I am smarter and wiser then I have been the past year and a half but I know that was blinded by how I allowed a difficult time period to kick me into the down-in-the-dumps. I know I’m capable of at least three times of what I am doing. Something I realized on Wednesday was how everything I used to do was to please my parents, live up to their image of me and what they expected me to be. Now I know in their eyes I don’t live up to their image of “Tiffany”, and never will. They made me, they molded me with morals and manners but, I am my own independent person and I need to do things for myself things to make myself happy, not just for them. I live up to my own image and they will have to learn to respect and be proud of who I am, not remain in their perceived parochial thoughts of me. They’re forever my parents and I love them to death.
I have the determination, opportunity, and passion to fulfill my lifelong dreams and goals. If I allow my problem from the past, and problems throughout my day to dwell and float within my mind, bring down my mood, and cloud my thoughts I won’t be able to be ambitious toward my goals. So from now on I’m living my life differently. I will do things for myself, I will not let things bother or get to me, I will try harder then my best at all that I do, I will rid myself of all the negative qualities I have as habits. Today is a new day of me, the new better Tiffany.
So this was the enormous post you were talking about? Well no human is perfect. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and involve my psychology skills. In order to get to the top pillar (self-actualization) of Maslow's pyramid, you must satisfy the pillars below it. We were talking about this in class the other day and you know...we've all been through rough patches and we all have people in our lives that don't know how to do anything else but put us down and we just have to get over it and focus on ourselves. I'm going through the same self-seeking phase you're going through right now and so far it's doing well...slow, but well. I hope you become the person you want to be.
ReplyDelete